Day 1--Starting, Ending, Everything in between

I made a deal with myself, one thousand and one in a long line of deals I've made with myself to keep a blog or journal or some semblance of documentation on my average-as-hell life. I've always been fascinated by documentation of history and events, from my own, to the world's--if I could have done something with it I liked enough, I would have been a history major. Alas, I'm not the biggest fan of research when I HAVE to do it for something or someone and sucked at homework. I'm more of a freelance researcher/learner--I don't know. My aversion to doing something when I'm told to or I HAVE to is still a mystery to me.

Anyway. This deal. It's to write. Day 1, Day 2, Day 3... so on and so forth until I fail and then maybe I'll just have to start over. Maybe my goal will be 30 days, for now, in a row. Even if I have nothing much to say, I have to write something.

Today I'm going through my NYC photos from a trip I recently took with a few friends. It was my first time and I've fallen in love with it. Not sure I want to live directly there, but Brooklyn (the part I saw) was amazing. It's heavy, you know? I kept trying to describe New York City to people when I returned to Indianapolis and I just couldn't. It's indescribable, truly. It's huge and loud and overpowering and staggering and dirty and beautiful and creative and sad and happy and inspiring and concrete, yet also abstract. I don't know, maybe that's just me. Either way, I've never been to a place where I have, in equal measure, felt so entirely like an outsider, yet so entirely like I could belong all at the same time. It's the roots of America. As we tread our way up and down Manhattan and Brooklyn streets, all I could think about--and indeed I think about this anywhere I go that's older and bigger than the places in Indiana I have lived--the history of every little thing: from the sidewalk below my feet to the leaning rows of buildings. Anyone from famous people to possibly my own ancestors have walked these streets and maybe, they even felt a little bit of what I felt when I was there. Like New York City encapsulates America--where we've come from and where we're going and why people come here in the first place. Jay Z and Alicia Keys's song wouldn't leave my head, but the words rang true--concrete jungle where dreams are made. I know I will never find another place like it. I can't wait to take my bf friend back with me and really do NYC right.

Song of the Day: "I Followed Fires" by Matthew and the Atlas (via a lovely Reign TV show 8tracks I've been obsessed with