How I would rank pain, everything from Legos to stitches to heartbreak.

Seriously though. I'm the master of small injury. My friends are amazed I haven't broken anything before--well, not officially.

1. Getting numbing shots inside the gash on my lower front calf for stitches, a gash I received while hammering tile out of a bathroom for hurricane relief and wouldn't close when I tried to press it together.
2. Cramps. You know the ones I'm talking about.
3. Your biggest heartbreak when you think back on it 5 years later.
4. Stubbing/slamming/mangling a bare toe extremely hard on furniture when you are happy--specifically because it hurts just that much worse.
5. That time I rolled my ankle while drunk and then proceeded to walk on it all night. It was probably broken because I couldn't bend it to the side for 3 months. I definitely couldn't walk on it the next day. Probably should've gotten it X-Rayed. Oh well!
6. Burns, whether they're from baking dishes, straighters, curling irons, real irons, or a fiery My Little Pony because you were playing Chardee MacDennis and lost.
7. Hangovers that last all day.
8. Motherfucking bee stings.
9. Pain Poker with enemies.
10. Stepping on an errant Lego, especially the pointy end.
11. Getting cut on the tongue by a Dum-Dum sucker you are thoroughly enjoying.
12. Scraping your hands when you fall. Ow.
13. Shaving cuts on your downstairs.
14. Wearing heels for more than an hour.
15. Your first heartbreak when you think about it 10 years later.
16. Pain Poker with friends.
17. Getting the gash from the flying tile missile while doing hurricane relief. 
18. Spilling an expensive drink or coffee I was really, really looking forward too.
19. My cat's attempted vendettas. Shut up bitch, I'm still going to pick you up because you're soft and I want to love you.
20. Pillow fights